EF p 10. Relationships and Personality. Speaking

 

 

 

A. Have a conversation as natural as possible with a partner about the topic. Use the pictures above and the questions below to help you.

1. Do you know anyone who is always trying to put people down?
2. Can you talk about a couple whose relationship could be described as rocky? Do they fight like cat and dog?
3. Think about someone who got divorced or split up. What turned their relationship sour?
4. Have you ever turned your back on anyone? Do you know anyone who has?
5. Think about someone you have never actually taken to. Do you try to keep them at arm's length?
6. Do you know any teachers who look down on their pupils?
7. Talk about someone you know that keeps himself / herself to himself / herself.

8. Sometimes people can be critical and judgmental without having the intention of hurting us. How do you deal with them?

9. What character traits do you particularly admire in the people you know? Is it openness to change? Admirable people are often open-minded and welcome change throughout their lives. Could it be: humility, loyalty, accountability, resilience, honesty, respectfulness, compassion....?

10.  Have you ever struck up a friendship with someone who is diametrically opposed to you, your values and views? Do you know two people who are like chalk and cheese? What do you do when you don't see eye to eye with somebody?

11. Who is the most gregarious member of your family? What do they do? Are there any members in your family who are very set in their ways? Who is the most headstrong of your friends? And the most opinionated? Does any of them want to be the centre of attention? Who is the life and soul of your family gatherings? Who would you describe as laid-back? Who is the most supportive and sympathetic?

12. Do you take after your mum or dad? Do you know anybody who is the spitting image of their father or mother?

13. Do you agree that nothing is more valuable than a tight-knit group of friends and relatives? 

14. How can you build good rapport with your colleagues? 

15. Do you sometimes go to extraordinary lengths to help others? 

B. MONOLOGUE

Student A

1.    Do you and your parents get on like a house on fire? Do you get on like a house on fire with anybody?

2.    What kind of problems can put a great strain on a relationship?

3.    Which of your acquaintances gets on your nerves? Why?

Student B

1.    Have you ever taken an instant dislike to anyone? Were you proved right or did you have to change your mind later on?

2.    Did any of your teachers ever have it in for you or any of your classmates? Why? What was the cause of this feeling?

3.    Can you tell us about the last time you took an instant liking to somebody?

 

Sample dialogue:

 

1. Have you ever had a friendship that went through a rough patch but managed to recover?

2. Is it possible to form a strong connection with someone whose personality or values are very different from yours?

3. Which personal qualities do you find most admirable or important in the people you surround yourself with?

---

Emma: You know, I’ve been reflecting on how delicate friendships can be. Have you ever had one that hit a rough patch but somehow survived?

Josh: Yes, actually. A close friend and I had a serious disagreement a couple of years ago — it really put a (1)____________ on our relationship. However, with some honest communication, we managed to patch things (2)___________ in the end.

Emma: That’s reassuring. So, would you say that openness and willingness to compromise were the key factors?

Josh: Absolutely. Neither of us wanted to turn our (3)____________ on the friendship. To be fair, we’d always got along before the argument, (4)_____________ there was a solid foundation to rebuild upon.

Emma: I can relate. I drifted away from a friend a while back — nothing dramatic, but over time the relationship just turned a bit (5)____________. People sometimes change, and it’s hard to keep up.

Josh: Exactly. Change can make things complicated. Out of curiosity, do you think you’d ever try to reconnect with her?

Emma: Possibly, although she’s quite set in her (6)______________, whereas I’ve grown more open-minded and resilient. I prefer surrounding myself with people who are compassionate and supportive — those who inspire rather than put others (7)_______________.

Josh: I couldn’t agree more. I struggle to get along with people who are excessively opinionated or tend to look (8)____________ on others.

Emma: Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean. It can be so draining. But, on the flip side, have you ever struck (9)____________ a friendship with someone who’s completely different from you?

Josh: Funny you should mention that — yes! I became really close friends with a colleague who’s almost my opposite. We’re like (10)_____________ and cheese in terms of personality and outlook, but surprisingly, we still get on like a (11)____________ on fire.

Emma: That’s fascinating! What do you think makes that kind of friendship work despite the differences?

Josh: I’d say mutual respect and genuine support. He’s very headstrong, whereas I tend to be laid-back. Yet that contrast works in our favour — he’s fiercely loyal and would go to extraordinary (12)_____________ to help a friend.

Emma: That’s really impressive. It goes to show that differences don’t have to divide people — they can actually enrich a friendship.

Josh: Exactly. By the way, who would you say is the most gregarious person you know? I imagine you’ve got some lively friends.

Emma: Definitely my cousin — she’s the life and (13)___________ of every family gathering. She has this incredible ability to make everyone feel welcome. How about you?

Josh: Probably my sister. She’s extremely outgoing and has a tight-knit circle of friends. I, on the other hand, tend to keep myself to (14)____________, at least until I’ve built some rapport.

Emma: Really? I would never have guessed that — you come across (15)__________ very approachable.

Josh: Well, I suppose I am, but only with people I trust. (16)______________, I prefer to observe and stay in the background.

Emma: Fair enough. Not everyone wants to be the centre of attention. I think what matters most is authenticity — being genuine in your interactions.

Josh: So true. At the end of the day, honesty, humility, and kindness are what sustain any relationship.

Emma: I couldn’t have put it (17)___________ myself.

 

 

 

KEY

 

 

 

1. strain 

 

 

 

 

2. up 

 

 

 

 

3. backs 

 

 

 

 

4. so 

 

 

 

 

5. sour 

 

 

 

 

6. ways 

 

 

 

 

7. down 

 

 

 

 

8. down 

 

 

 

 

9. up 

 

 

 

 

10. chalk 

 

 

 

 

11. house 

 

 

 

 

12. lengths 

 

 

 

 

13. soul 

 

 

 

 

14. myself 

 

 

 

 

15. as 

 

 

 

 

16. Otherwise 

 

 

 

 

17. better 

 

EF p 10. Personality Traits. Speaking

 

A. Have a natural conversation with a partner about the pictures above and the questions below.

1. Does the personality we are born with determine our lives, or do the things that happen to us shape our personality as we grow older? Do you think there may be key aspects of our personality which were already in us when we were very young?
2. Do you have more good qualities than bad ones? What good qualities do you value on other people? Do you think our leaders should be more outspoken on human rights? How important is it to be trustworthy nowadays? Are the people around you even-tempered?
3. What five traits characterise you? What are your main qualities? What are your main defects? How do your friends “see” you? Are you witty?
4. Are you easy or uneasy opening up to other people? Are you gregarious? or do you try to avoid other people getting personally too close to you?  Tell us about a person you know who you would consider a dark horse.
5. Do you commit yourself fully to things you take on? Are there any last-minute deadline junkies where you work? Do you work more comfortably with circumspect or with impetuous colleagues?
   

B. Monologue. Talk about the questions given.

Student A

1. Do you feel confident in your ability to deal with any situation? Tell us about a tough cookie you know.
2. Tell us about a person you know who is very set in his ways. How do you feel about people who are obstinate?
3. How do other people annoy you most? What irritates you most about other people? Are there any busybodies where you work? How do you respond to inquisitive people? What about detail-obsessed nit-pickers? How do you feel with someone who is domineering? What about someone who is a wet blanket? What personality do you find most infuriating?

Student B

1. Is there also a relationship between our personality traits and how successful we are in education or at work? Tell us about a big cheese you know.
2. Can you tell us about the last time you met someone who came across as courteous?
3. How important is it to be self-reliant nowadays? Do you know any public figure who can be described as a loose cannon?

Vocabulary

outspoken: Saying what you think, without embarrassment.

trustworthy: If you can be sure that sb will do what they ought to do or what they have said they will do. Reliable, dependable.

even-tempered: Not easily made angry. Calm, relaxed.

witty: Using words in a clever and amusing way.  

Gregarious: /ɡrɪˈɡeəriəs/ liking to be with other people. Sociable. E.g. She's very outgoing and gregarious. 

dark horse: a person who doesn’t tell others very much about himself/herself, but has surprising qualities or abilities. E.g. She's a dark horse. I didn't know she had lived in Japan.

take something/somebody on: to decide to do something; to agree to be responsible for something/somebody. E.g. I can't take on any extra work. We're not taking on any new clients at present.

last-minute deadline junkies: people who leave doing their work until the last minute before it needs to be finished.   
Junkie: 1. a drug addict. 2. a person with a compulsive habit or obsessive dependency on something E.g. power junkies.

Circumspect: /ˈsɜːkəmspekt/ thinking very carefully about something before doing it, because there may be risks involved. Cautious. E.g. He was very circumspect in his financial affairs.

Impetuous: /ɪmˈpetʃuəs/ acting or done quickly and without thinking carefully about the results. Impulsive. E.g. an impetuous young woman. An impetuous decision. If you're a careful person who thinks everything through and doesn't act rashly, then you're not very impetuous. Impetuous has to do with doing things on the spur of the moment — and not good things. Being impetuous usually goes along with being impatient and easily angered. If you're impetuous, you act quickly and thoughtlessly when you should just take a deep breath, relax, and think about the best thing to do.

tough cookie: someone who is strong enough to deal with difficult or violent situations. E.g. The head teacher was a tough cookie and I could never get away with anything with her.

set in his ways: unlikely to change her habits or opinions. E.g. I’ve been on my own a long time and I’m rather set in my ways. 

Obstinate: /ˈɒbstɪnət/ (often disapproving) refusing to change your opinions, way of behaving, etc. when other people try to persuade you to; behaviour that shows this. Stubborn. E.g. He can be very obstinate when he wants to be! Her obstinate determination to pursue a career in radio.

busybody: someone who is too interested in other people’s private activities. E.g. others considered him an interfering busybody.  

Inquisitive: /ɪnˈkwɪzətɪv/ 1 (disapproving) asking too many questions and trying to find out about what other people are doing, etc. Curious. E.g. Don't be so inquisitive. It's none of your business! I didn’t like to seem inquisitive 2. very interested in learning about many different things. E.g. He has an an inquisitive mind. His poems reveal an intensely inquisitive mind. An intelligent and inquisitive young man.

detail-obsessed nit-pickers: people who argue about small, unimportant details.
nit-picker: someone who finds small mistakes in somebody's work or pays too much attention to small details that are not important. E.g.  The nit-pickers usually begin with 'Look, this is fine,' followed by that one word – 'but'. He was a meticulous nitpicker who wasn't able to "see the big picture."
Nitpicking is the act of removing nits (the eggs of lice, generally head lice) from the hair.

Domineering: trying to control other people without considering their opinions or feelings. Sp. Dominante. E.g. a cold and domineering father. A domineering manner.

wet blanket: a person who is not enthusiastic about anything and who stops other people from enjoying themselves. E.g. don’t be a wet blanket.

infuriating: /ɪnˈfjʊərieɪtɪŋ/ making you extremely angry. E.g. It is infuriating to talk to someone who just looks out of the window.

a big cheese: (informal, humorous) an important and powerful person, especially in an organization. E.g he was a really big cheese in the business world.

come across (as sth): To appear to be a particular type of person (even if you are not). E.g.   She came across as quite a shy person when we met her, but apparently she's not like that at all.  

courteous: /ˈkɜːtiəs/ If you act and speak in a way that is helpful and thoughtful towards other people. Polite.

self-reliant: If you can do things yourself and do not want or need help. Independent. E.g a self-reliant little girl.

a loose cannon: a person, usually a public figure, who often behaves in a way that nobody can predict. E.g. most of the cop heroes in contemporary films are loners and loose cannons.

Other useful words and expressions:

quirky: slightly strange. Peculiar. E.g. a quirky sense of humour.  the film is very quirky. He is somewhat quirky.

stick to your guns: (informal) to refuse to change your mind about something even when other people are trying to persuade you that you are wrong. E.g. At the meeting Carla stuck to her guns in spite of the fact that everybody was against her. They tried to persuade me, but I stuck to my guns.

overbearing: trying to control other people in an unpleasant way. Domineering. E.g. an overbearing parent an overbearing manner She found him rude and overbearing. I wasn’t the least impressed or intimidated by her overbearing attitude.

A procrastinator is a person who delays or puts things off — like work, chores, or other actions — that should be done in a timely manner. A procrastinator is likely to leave all the Christmas shopping until December 24th. E.g. he's too much of a procrastinator

procrastinate: /prəʊˈkræstɪneɪt/ to delay doing something that you should do, usually because you do not want to do it. E.g. People were dying of starvation while governments procrastinated.